Wednesday 4 September 2013

We interrupt this news bulletin for a message from our sponsor: MSM Construction Company, non-proprietary and unlimited.

They certainly provide service with a smile or three, and all their work comes with an extensive 10-minute guarantee. None of their customers have ever complained. They provide construction services for almost any problem. You have a problem MSM may be able to fix it. Do you have sick eyes? Or sick ears, teeth, gutters, roof, stairs, plumbing, electrical, masonry, or sick carpentry? Call MSM on channel 16 and ask for Rob the Builder. No job is too hard for this guy!

So let’s ask a recent customer for his opinion? Only this morning Rob and MSM were discovered at the Losalava Clinic in the island of Gaua (otherwise called Santa Maria). An anonymous reliable witness stated: “Klinik hemi kaput befo. Rob fixim gud. Hemi gudfala tumas.” Our hidden cameras in the pamplemousse tree captured the MSM team at work fixing sick bodies, extracting loose bricks and teeth, cleaning the roof and scaling teeth, repairing wounds and broken masonry steps and verandah bearers and gutters, inserting new taps to the empty rain-water tanks, and reconnecting solar power.

But wait that’s not all. With every job you will receive a presentation on the benefits of low smoke mud brick stoves with free instructional DVD and booklet, and sunnies.

And how expensive is this service? Not all. One lobster and a box of pamplemousse and fresh vegetables is at it cost this happy customer. So when you have a task that looks too difficult, call Rob on channel 16. That number again is One-Six. You won’t regret it.

Smooth contracts, fair constructions and now back to our regular program…

Onboard cub reporter